Nothing brings more class to a neighborhood than a shopping cart and a lake is no exception. This dress wearing stuntman modifies this shopping cart for water skiing hi-jinx.

This water skiing trip would make bubbles from Trailer Park Boys proud.

Most people die from a short 150 foot jump off a bridge but not Norwegian base jumper Hans Lange. Lange, 44 feel about 1,000 feet only to land on a tree and survive with only a broken leg.

The jumper captured the entire horrible episode on video that is too disturbing to watch (below)

Lange admits he was too nonchalant and had to be rescued by a helicopter after being trapped in a tree 300 feet up. The accident happened August. 23rd, as Hans jumped from the 5,250 foot high Bjoerketind peak in Norway.

He said he was lucky to be alive but wasn’t about to quit base jumping.

“When I have recovered I will jump again,” he said. “It all comes down to better planning. It’s a fantastic feeling to fly along a mountainside.”

“I have never considered this as a last jump,” the base-jumper said after his ordeal. “Lying there, floating along the mountain side, feeling the hairs stand in your neck, and you are in complete control. It’s a wonderful feeling, and a feeling I seek and will always do.”

Lange said he was flying down the mountainside at nearly 180 kph (110 mph) when he realized he was too close to the wall.

He deployed his chute and tried to steer away from the wall, but it was too late. The video showed Lange crying out in pain as he bumped into the rock repeatedly while trying to untangle the cords.

The fall came to an abrupt end when he slammed into a tree about 100 meters (330 feet) above the planned landing site.

Britain’s Daily Telegraph soberly notes that since 1981, there have been at least 123 fatalities related to the sport.

News Article

The Olympics won’t be coming to your home town without a billion dollar budget, millions in bribes and kickbacks and recently it requires a suppressive communist government. Don’t let that or a lack of international level athletic talent stop you from competing your home town’s very first Olympic games.

1	100 Meter Run Measure out something like 100 meters (approximately a football fieldish) and pick something to run against preferably something faster than you that will inspire you to run faster like a train, bus, or riding lawnmower.
2	Long Jump Look for something that won’t kill you after landing (like a pile of soft trash or some construction gravel) take a running leap and try to jump as far as you can without injuring yourself.
3	Shot Put With Olympic rules each competitor receives a certain number of throws which you might not get if you are using fruits from a grocery - so make your first throw count. A competition level shot weighs about 16 pounds so to make your throw official look for a heavy fruit like Harvey Firestone.
4	High Jump The challenge in this event is to find something that you know for sure you can clear, or something that won’t kill you if you hit the obstacle. Brick walls, fences with razor wire, and electrified fences should all be second choices.
5	400 Meter Run The 400 meter run is the last event of the first day, so you will have a full night’s rest so go all out on this one. Running in traffic should cut two seconds off your time, or get you killed.
6	110 Meter Hurdles Look for 10 evenly spaced obstacles approximately 1.067 meters (3.5 ft) in height. Construction signs should be suitable - but try to jump opposite to the side of that little light usually on the left.
7	Discus A freeway shoulder is the perfect place to find a nice throwing area marked out as well as a ready supply of hubcaps which are not official olympic sized they are close enough and much cheaper. All of these events are considered eco-friendly because they focus on recycling!
8	Pole Vault Look for something soft to land in (people do get killed in this event so caution is the keyword on this one). Try to avoid cactus - your best choice is a bush without thorns with plenty of give in it.
9	Javelin A fishing pole is more than an adequate stand in for a competition level javelin - and safer! Be ready to run after throwing the fishing pole because as non-athletes the fisherman will not understand your quest for gold.
10	1500 Meter Run Train stations, marathons, and outdoor events make perfect locations for you final event the 1500 meter run. Now I know nothing about the metric system but that sounds like a mile or something so you may need to walk most of this one, so save some for the end - it looks good on the cameras - which might mitigate any legal issues involved with running along tracks into a train station.

Street water skiing requires a car (preferably with a hatchback), a few inches of standing water, standard wakeboard equipment, and a complete disregard for one’s own personal safety. While it may not be an Olympic sport yet, it’s already a gold medal retard event.

Wakeboarding on the streets when fay hit Florida Tech

The move Aliens introduced most of us to a monster that had a second smaller set of jaws open up from it’s mouth which seemed totally retarded but cool. The goblin shark pretty much has the same thing which is totally worthy of some retard attention…

The goblin shark, Mitsukurina owstoni, is a deep-sea shark, the sole living species in the family Mitsukurinidae. The most distinctive characteristic of the goblin shark is the unorthodox shape of its head. It has a long, trowel-shaped, beak-like rostrum or snout, much longer than other sharks’ snouts. Some other distinguishing characteristics of the shark are the color of its body, which is mostly pink, and its long, protrusible jaws. When the jaws are retracted, the shark resembles a pink grey nurse shark, Carcharias taurus, with an unusually long nose.

Mitsukurina owstoni is found in the deep ocean, far below where the sun’s light can reach at depths greater than 200 m. They can be found throughout the world, from Australia in the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico in the Atlantic Ocean.[4] They are best known from the waters around Japan, where the species was first discovered by modern science.

Goblin sharks feed on a variety of organisms that live in deep waters. Among some of their known meals are deep-sea squid, crabs and deep-sea fishes. Very little is known about the species’ life history and reproductive habits, as encounters with them have been relatively rare. As seemingly rare as they are however, there seems to be no real threat to their populations and so they are not classified as endangered species by the IUCN.

Goblin sharks can grow 11 feet (3.3 m) long and weigh 350 lb (159 kg). They have the typical shark’s semi-fusiform body. Unlike the common image of sharks, M. owstoni’s fins are not pointed and instead are low and rounded, with the anal and pelvic fins significantly larger than the dorsal fins. Their heterocercal tails are similar to the thresher shark’s, with the upper lobe significantly longer proportionately than other sharks’. In addition, the goblin shark’s tail lacks a ventral lobe.

The pink coloration, unique among sharks, is due to blood vessels underneath a semi-transparent skin (which bruises easily), thereby causing the coloring. The fins have a bluish appearance. Goblin sharks lack a nictitating membrane. They have no precaudal pit and no keels. The front teeth are long and smooth-edged, while the rear teeth are adapted for crushing.

Up to 25% of the goblin shark’s body weight can be its liver.

More Info from the Florida Museum of Natural History

More Info from Wiki

Hot reporters are willing to do more than just go down for a story some are nearly got killed by a giant ball. Not just a run of the mill ball either, it was a single ball (like John Kruk’s) or more specifically a giant transparent sphere intended to be fun.

Sphereing (or Zorbing) is the practice of humans traveling in a sphere, generally made of transparent plastic, usually for fun. Sphereing or globe-riding is generally performed on a gentle slope, allowing the rider to roll downhill, but can also be done on a level surface, as well as on water, permitting more rider control. In the absence of hills, at least one vendor has begun constructing metal ramps.[1] Most spheres are constructed for a single rider, but some hold two or three. The longer runs are approximately half a mile. Globe-riding is very popular in New Zealand and the very first Zorb site was Zorb Rotorua.

The sphere is a double-hulled sphere, with one ball inside the other with an air layer in between. This acts as a shock absorber for the rider, dampening bumps while traveling. It also allows for a much more light-weight sphere made of flexible plastic, as opposed to the rigid plastic of a hamster ball. Many spheres have straps to hold the rider in place, while others leave the rider free to walk the sphere around or be tossed about freely by the rolling motion. A typical sphere is about 3 metres (9.8 ft) in diameter, with an inner sphere size of about 2 metres (6.6 ft), leaving a 50–60 centimetre (20–24 in) air cushion around the riders. The plastic is approximately 0.8 millimetres (0.031 in) thick. The inner and outer sphere are connected by numerous (often hundreds) small ropes. Spheres generally have one or two tunnel-like entrances.

On June 19, 2008 reporter Rebekah Metzler of the Lewiston Sun-Journal, fractured her back and bruised a kidney while rolling down a ski hill in a Chinese knockoff of the product at Lost Valley, Maine.

Statehouse reporter Rebekah Metzler was rolling down a hill inside the car-sized plastic sphere known as “the Zorb” when it bounced off a hay-encased post, went airborne and landed hard several seconds later.

Metzler estimated the ball sailed 8 feet into the air before coming down.

She drove back to the newspaper office and was taken to Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston where she was admitted Thursday night.

Metzler was inside the sphere along with Sun Journal photographer Lincoln Benedict as part of a media preview of the ride.

Hours after Metzler’s 1 p.m. ride, it was still unclear what went wrong.

“I wouldn’t want this incident to become a black cloud over the Zorb,” Metzler said from the hospital Thursday night. “I think if things are done correctly, it’s safe.”

The ride features a large, inflatable sphere inside which riders are strapped and then rolled down a hill. The sphere is opening at Lost Valley this weekend with the announcement: “Take the wildest ride in your life down over our ski trails!”

Metzler said she had researched the “Zorb” in preparation for her ride and indications were that there was not a big risk of injury. Her guess: The operation of it on Thursday may have been more relaxed because it was not yet open to the public.

“That’s my layman’s point of view,” she said. “I think if the concern level is there, it’s going to be pretty safe.”

Metzler said it did not appear that the sphere handlers paid particular attention to how precisely the orb was inflated before she was sent down the hill.

Zorb Ltd chief executive, Craig Horrocks, of Remuera, Auckland, told the Boston Globe that his company has had issues with “a rogue and fake operators.”

He said the only official Zorb site in the USA was in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, near Dolly Parton’s theme park.

Zorb New England co-manager Jeremy Coito acknowledged that his business base in Danvile New Hampshire was not associated with Zorb Ltd, but claimed that “Zorbing is a generic trademark, a sport” and he could rightfully use its name.

More about this accident

Cactus diving is the latest in a long line of retarded sports, and simply requires a patch of cactus and the desire to be completely retarded.Sure there are tons of retarded sports out there like curling, speed-walking, one-man wrestling, and of course the special olympics all qualify but this is pure retardation

On your marks get set, get retarded. Kind of like stage diving requiring a near suicidal lack of concern for one’s own well being . This trailer park hillbilly looking denizen simply positions himself over the cactus and dives his way to the hospital. Sure Britney and Paris are essentially doing the same thing (destroying themselves) with everyone watching to get attention, but this seems like an even more desperate plea for help. If you know this retard please organize an intervention and get him locked up somewhere.

The only thing faker than wrestling is Lindsay Lohan’s rack is wrestling, and since it’s all choreographed anyway why not make it slightly more believable and wrestle an imaginary opponent. One part mime one part Hulk Hogan and throw in some Japanese for flavor and you have yourself some invisible wrestling. I am so betting on the transparent one next time with my underground wrestling bookie.

Take a car and mount the seats eight feet in the air hanging in front of the car and you have yourself a death trap roller coaster of fun.

Van seat suspended in air complete with steering wheel, breaks and accelerator to drive a vintage Chevy Cavalier.

The retardmobile in action

How to build your own retardmobile

Take a couple white people who are sure pretty sure they can break dance and or have regular seizures, a Delorean car, and a video camera for the aforementioned epileptic attention starved morons and you have a recipe for disaster. Fortunately no one was killed in the filming of this video, but behavior like this should not be tolerated and if you see something like this call the police. Or better yet just bust a cap, oh wait skip the cap gun just use a shotgun.

Speechless… However now I have a pretty good idea of how that one guy lost his leg.