Here are the ten best shows currently on television as compiled by RZone staff members.

I’ll admit it.. Not only am I a Retard (and proud to be) but I’m dealing with increasing credit card debt. Between supporting single moms (ya, you know what I mean) and paying for things I have no reason to buy, like the World’s funniest candy jar, I’ve spent a little more money than I’ve earned. I don’t think it’s a big deal though, I’ll just apply for another credit card to pay the other ones off.

You might be thinking that I’m just stupid with that rationale, but really I’m just helping to make the economy continue to grow and flourish! You should be appreciative, if it weren’t for the Retard factor, most companies would go out of business and the pet rock would never have made it big.

Since my family is getting tired of me borrowing money from them to make my credit card payments, I’ve decided that seeking help might be more than just a good idea, it might be a requirement. So here’s the question, how long until I get a call from American Profit, who would be representing one of my creditors?

I went to the website and immediately needed to hunt for some of my high school clothing, because I was brought back to the 1990’s with the scrolling javascript text “… News: American Profit Recovery was recently named one of Collection Advisor’s 50 Most Influential Collection Agencies in the Collection Industry…”, I guess that’s what gets the attention of most companies looking for a Collection Agency, but I almost hurled after watching the scrolling for 4 minutes (I was waiting for something to change). I would think that when you have to compete with the search term “debt collection” and their are over 3,700,000 results in Google, you would want to have something special going for you besides a domain name with “American” in it. And this company does.

Actually, if you look at the domain name in a different way, it would actually be read “America N Profit”. Maybe that’s the idea, there’s profit to be made in America even if it’s from having your customers paying their bills.

The Fed recently announced that the average American family carries an average of $2,200 in credit card debt. I’m sure the Fed shouldn’t interview just congressman and senators next time they poll people for this information. If I only owed $2,200 then I would be happier than Senator Ted Kennedy at an AA meeting with an open bar. Using that average though, how hard could it be to get money from customers? It must not always be easy, there are companies that can make it easier for you though, and it looks like American Profit might be one of them.

So while I’m checking out the Collection Agency and I notice that the color scheme made me sad and sort of depressed. Choosing a color scheme is an important part of website development and I think having so much blue on a website should be avoided if possible. I’m not sure if I’m longing for the ocean or just need to take some Lexepro.

Being more curious about their website, and decently distracted enough to stop worrying about the credit collection agencies calling me, I started to deflect to the website design, I checked out the SEO rating and found that the SEO was 86% with 293 terms and 82 links, along with 23 images (with 21 missing the red-headed step-child alt tags). Wouldn’t having a higher SEO help with search engine placement? And when you’re competing with 3,500,000 web pages, shouldn’t you be striving for perfection?

I don’t actually have a company (and friends tell me that I’m not good company) so I asked a friend that has a small store in a neighboring state if he could call and check out American Profit. Whoever he spoke with seemed like a good person because he sounded like he was happy the next time we spoke. Apparently he’s going to sign up and get some dead beats to start forking over some money… maybe they’ll pay on their credit cards (shhhh!! it works for me).

Thanks for all that you do to help America in this time of recession and crisis. There’s no doubt that if it weren’t for the ability to have Guido and Vinny collect on my unpaid gambling debts, my bookie couldn’t do better than to get a Collection Agency help him break some legs and collect on some past due issues.