On September 29th 2038 Pamela Anderson, 71 died at Arnold Schwarzenegger
Memorial Hospital in Riverside California. Memorial services in Hollywood drew huge crowds that were estimated to be over 70 thousand people a week later. The event was a huge phenomenon covered on all both remaining TV networks for days. Pamela was hugely popular in China were her iconic image survived her career meltdown in the late 2020’s.

She is survived by her two sons Dylan Jagger Lee 42 and Brandon Thomas Lee 40.

Pamela became a recluse after her failed marriage to Donald Trump and the infamous Tommy & Pamela Uncensored 2 tape.Her aging appearance became a punch line for comedians. She was rear ely seen in public and her photo was one of the most elusive targets for celebrity chasing Paparazzi. She kept to herself and family although still remained active to her favorite cause PETA. She would occasionally to voice-over’s for commercials with her trademark sultry voice although mostly for products targeting aging baby-boomers.

Pamela’s money woes led her to look into marketing your brand image and she was known to license anyone willing to pay her money to use her name. Perhaps the most famous was a sexy adult line of diapers targeting incontinent baby boomers. The product was actually a moderate success and helped her pay off her legal bills and provided much needed retirement income.

Pamela briefly married Donald Trump for seven months prior to his death at age 84. The 83 year old entrepreneurial icon was suffering from colon cancer and many felt he his mental faculties were in decline. His children from previous marriages accused pamela of taking advantage of the frail Donald and a string of lawsuits over his estate went on for years.

Like Anna Nicole Smith Pamela another Playmate who married a wealthy geriatric man Pamela never received the millions she may have been looking for. Legal fees actually outstripped her modest settlement and the entire affair was a major drain on her assets.

Pamela’s final appearance in Playboy holds the dubious distinction of being the worst selling issue of the magazine’s nearly more than 75 year history.

After a long string of more than 25 appearances her final pictorial was probably one too many. The flabby and out of shape 60 year-old Pamela was a marketing disaster for the struggling magazine.
One of the final magazines in print the historic magazine ceases printing only months later. Many blame the demise squarely on this issue which attracted some older subscribers sickened those under 55.

In a rare acting appearance Pamela starred as Pheobe Skyler an aging rock star coming to terms with her career in decline and losing her looks. Many felt the independent film role was semiautomatic and the
performance seemed genuine. Many considered the movie "Forgotten Yesterdays" to be the high point of her professional acting career. She went on to be nominated for an Oscar for best actress and a Golden Globe nomination.

Following the part she followed up with several smaller roles in film and television but never received the acclaim or attention she achieved in her 2018 hit.

In 2013 Pamela launched her latest "new look" many were not ready for a surgically altered 50 year old woman as a sex symbol. The Playboy pictorial met mixed reviews and her TV show "Deadly Cougar" was a ratings disaster and only two episodes were aired on CBS.

Many experts consider 2008
to be the end of Pamela’s attractive phase. At 40 her age and repeated attempts at
improving her looks combined to result in a freakish appearance that many would refer to as

In April 2005, Anderson starred in a new FOX sitcom Stacked as Skyler Dayton, a party girl (with implants), who goes to work at a bookstore. It was canceled on May 18, 2006, after two seasons, although some episodes had not been aired on the network.

The film bombed commercially and critically. At the 1997 Razzie Awards, Anderson ‘won’ for Worst New Star. The movie was also nominated for Worst Actress, Anderson, Worst Original Song, ‘Welcome to Planet Boom’ by Tommy Lee, Worst Picture, Worst Screen Couple, for Anderson’s ‘impressive enhancements’ and Worst Screenplay.

In 1993 Pamela landed the role of C. J. Parker on Baywatch. Anderson was still modeling for Outdoor Life and appearing on the cover of the magazine each year. Her role as C.J. Parker gave her more popularity and gained her attention from international viewers. She returned to Baywatch for the 2003 reunion movie, Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding. She also made appearances on The Nanny as Fran’s rival, Heather Biblow.

After her move to Los Angeles, Anderson bleached her brunette hair blonde. In 1991, she landed a minor role as the original "Tool Time girl" on the hit television sitcom, Home Improvement. She left the show after two seasons

In late 1989, Anderson decided to model for Playboy magazine. She first appeared as their October 1989 cover girl. At this stage in her modeling career she had decided to live in Los Angeles to further pursue her career ambitions. She became a centerfold for Playboy when the magazine chose her to be their Playmate of the Month for their February 1990 issue. Anderson has since appeared in Playboy several times in the 1990s and the following decade.

After graduating from Highland Secondary School in 1985, Anderson moved to Vancouver and worked as a fitness instructor. During the summer of 1989, Anderson went with her friends to a BC Lions game at BC Place; at some point during the game she was shown on the stadium screen wearing a Labatt’s t-shirt, causing the crowd to cheer for the 21-year-old Anderson. She was taken down to the field to get an ovation from the crowd. Labatt’s immediately offered Anderson a modeling contract and she accepted.

Pamela Denise Anderson was born at 4:08am, July 1, 1967 in Ladysmith, British Columbia, Canada. 1967 was Canada’s Centennial year and Pamela was the first baby born this day in all of Canada earning her the title "The Centennial Baby". This earned her an article in the local newspaper, the Ladysmith-Chemainus Chronicle. The Anderson’s received cash prizes and awards for having the first baby born in Canada on this day, Canada’s 100th Birthday. "That’s where it all started" says Pamela.

Shortly after that, her parents Barry, a furnace repairman and Carol, a waitress, moved to Comox, British Columbia where they purchased a large six bedroom house on Douglas Street. Comox is about 200 kilometers north of Vancouver, British Columbia and it was there one day in a library that Pamela’s modeling career would start. Pamela was sitting listening to a story with about one hundred other children when a photographer captured a picture of her that won the hearts of all that saw viewed it. It was quickly copyrighted and placed in all the libraries in British Columbia

Using the STD rating system which accounts for severity of disease, likelyhood of infection, wealth and looks (see Figure-8 below the list) Jessica is the most desirable disease riddled starlet.

Her disease was apparently given to her by Derek Jeter. A former employee of her ex-boyfriend Cash Warren used to go out on runs and refill her Valtrex prescription on a regular basis

Reportedly Kritanna passed the gift that keeps giving it to her boyfriend, Justin Whalin. Her most memorable role was as the female terminator in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Being a converted fashion model the less she speaks the better when acting.

Loken stated in an interview with Curve magazine, "I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men… I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, that’s just the way it is. That’s what makes my wheels turn."

Pamela Anderson is making strong progress in her battle against Hepatitis C - her doctor has declared her fitter and healthier at 40 than she’s ever been in her life. In 2003, Anderson claimed she was not expected to live for more than 10 or 15 years after contracting the disease from ex-husband Tommy Lee - but last October the former Baywatch star announced her determination to defy all odds and cure the virus completely.

Her numbers would be higher, but her looks are on the downhill slope and she can’t rely on her acting skills to pay her phone bill.

Victoria Beckham the former Spice Girl turned freakish alien example of plastic surgery gone too far (ala Michael Jackson) would be the wealthiest on this list if her and her husband didn’t manage money like Fannie Mae. The poster couple for nouveau riche jet sets around the world buying up orchards and reportedly Victoria aka "Poche Spice" sports a seven million dollar ring.

Victoria probably picked up the Herp from one of her husband’s thousand plus groupie count.

Paris neglected to pay off her bills for a storage unit and her belongings were auctioned off. Thanks once again to that storage locker which held more secrets than the chest in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a medical record/prescription info insert emerged for a drug called Valtrex, which is used to treat outbreaks of genital herpes.

The troubled celebutante, sort of actress, sort of singer was formerlly a professional heiress was but written out of the will for her crazy antics. That cost her more than fifty million dollars and at least two spots on this list.

This former child model went on to become a late-teen Disney movie star to wild party girl with not much of an acting future. By all accounts she has given up men and is set to marry Samantha Ronson within a year.

Prior to switching teams Lohan went through more male actors than a catering truck. She has recently taken a break from acting to drive under the influence and get back her girlish figure in rehab centers.

Her career has tapered off since two succesful TV shows (Charmed and Who’s The Boss) and her career is mostly limited to B Movies and the Sci-Fi Channel.

She is sweet, loves sports and visits the troops so with her good looks you could probably put up with the odd flare up.

Britney’s well telivised downward spiral has led her to wake up in more than one strange bed after a drug filled evening of partying. This former member of the Mickey Mouse Club even kissed Madonna on the lips, and that’s roughly equivelent to locking lips with a half dozen Bangkok prostitutes. She has been doucmented buying Zovirax in Kentwood.

The head shaving, well publicised drug problems, losing her children to Kevin Federline and massive weight gain have all taken their toll on her career and more importantly her cash supplies.

Janet Jackson had a list of her perscriptons leaked online. Here is a link from smoking gun with her actual perscription for Zovirax (an antiviral drug, a synthetic nucleoside analogue, that is active against the herpes viruses,)

She has the highest wealth on the list but looks too much like her child fondling brother Michael to score too high on this list. Besides at 42 she is one of the oldest on this list and is prone to massive (Oprah-esque) weight gains.

Katie seems like a nice enough child bride in the happy Scientology family. She would rank higher in wealth, but signed a $40 million dollar prenuptual agreement with Tom Cruise. I think for $40 million I would let the man nearly twice her age slobber all over me and give me herpes.

Microsoft

Bill Gates facing a government imposed break-up had billions of reasons to distract the federal government. It is a little known fact that key pieces of evidence against Microsoft were stored in FBI vaults within the World Trade Center. The case had been dismissed by the government on the 6th of September only to have new evidence come to light just days later. With only the weekend to plan this elaborate attack it took the nearly unlimited resources of the richest man in the world to pull of the attack. Following the attack the FBI turned it’s sights on al Qaeda leaving Microsoft free to rule the world.

Retard Factor:

The Amish

The little known Nationalist Organization of Canaanite and Amish Revolutionaries or NOCAR for short organized a well-orchestarted attack on 9/11. The operation was such as success that no one has suspected the group of orchestrating the next world war. With the Christians and Muslims bombing each other back into the stone age the Amish win. The spartan Amish life will seem attractive and children will quit leaving the community for the big city with electricity (aka satan juice) no longer a factor. The plan was set in Amish orphans who lost their parents to carriages run over by cars who had finally had enough.

Retard Factor:

Hindus

Sure these Slurpee dispensing people claim to be peaceful but living next door to a nuclear Pakistan and surrounded by Muslims this tiny religion was in danger of being overwhelmed. That was until 9-11 when the extremist Hindu group 7/11 led a small band of well trained taxi drivers onto four airplanes and overpowered the flight crews with body odor having not bathed for a week. This tiny religion has orchestrated great war foretold by the parable of Armageddon foretold by the parable of the grasshopper and the two bulls.

Retard Factor:

Democrats

Bush’s actions on September 11 have been the subject of lively debate, mostly on the internet. Over 35% of democrats believe Bush was behind 9/11 and this is no coincidence. A splinter group of liberal Democrats were behind 9/11. The plan was led by disgruntled democrats following the disputed 2000 election. All of the Bush conspiracy theories have a grain of truth to them which were crumbs left by this group. The leaders knew that after being attacked the hot-headed Texan would begin attacking any Arab nations that annoyed him, literally taunting Bush into starting the most unpopular war in US history. Ask yourself who would benefit most from Bush having a 31 percent approval rating and you already have the answer to who was behind 9/11.

Retard Factor:

CNN

After years of flagging rating, peace breaking out through the world and was saddled with billions in debt following the ill-fated AOL merger the network was facing bankruptcy. Led by Larry King who was facing personal financial problems after his twelfth divorce settlement insiders within the network orchestrated the whole thing. Planning was simplified with the aid of those finger painting computer screens they use when covering military actions. After the attacks the network was in the perfect position to leak information implicating the previously little known group al Queda. Since 9/11 the network has enjoyed blockbuster ratings and has staved off bankruptcy.

Retard Factor:

Catholics

Facing competition from the fastest growing religion in the world (Muslims) and facing internal crisis the the priest molestation schedule the pope acted to save the church. The Catholic faith was in trouble and it saw a way to eliminate it’s greatest competitors: Muslims and secularists. There are no atheists in foxholes and by starting this war the whole world would be a foxhole. The tiny Swiss guard sworn to undertake the operation undertook the operation in secrecy using an underground Catholic group that made hinted of in the Da Vinci Code.

Retard Factor:

OPEC

Arab Muslim extremists were behind the attacks on 9/11 but it wasn’t al Qaeda as many mistakenly believe. OPEC, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries that is sitting on the greatest concentration of wealth in the world - Oil. They had everything to lose if Al Gore was elected and pushed alternative fuels on the world. It took millions in contributions made covertly to the Republican party and Supreme Court Justices who had a price to keep Gore out in 2000. By 2001 they realized the only thing that could get the bumbling cowboy re-elected was an easy to win war with a small country like Afghanistan. Only an large scale organization like OPEC had the resources and health benefits necessary to pull off such a massive operation.

Retard Factor:

Leonard Nimoy

With the Star Trek franchise tapped out, WIlliam Shatner spending the lions share of the residuals on fake hair and his fellow cast members dying off the aging actor was facing a financial crisis. Many forget that Leondard Nimoy was the godfather of conspiracy theories in the 70s TV show In Search Of, and he actually makes small residuals off unfounded conspiracy theories after filing a little known patent in 1973. The disgruntled second fiddle on Star Trek used a small band of hard core Trek fans willing to do anything to orchestrate the attacks he organized during conventions across the country.Since 9/11 every conspiracy nut has had a theory on what really happened and Spock has been rolling in the green.

Retard Factor:

Paris Hilton

The little known actress and exhibitionist calculated that in a world pre-occupied by war and looking for escape a no talent tart like herself would be the perfect diversion. Trading sexual favors the oddly-nosed vixen slept her way to brining down the world trade center. You wouldn’t believe what things she had to do to convince those 19 sex-starved arab immigrants into their kamikaze mission.

Retard Factor:

Jews

During a weekend binge in Vegas (they had coupons for half off) the heads of the major companies of the world (all run by Jews) hatched a plan to rule the world. WIth Jews surrounded by Arabs seeking nuclear weapons the Jewish suicide brigade (seen in Life of Brian) crashed the airplanes on 9/11. The plan is to get the Christians and Muslims to nuke each other leaving the world to the Jews. Everyone knows the Jews already control the world, they were just sick of sharing space and with global warming worried there wasn’t enough to go around and were too greedy.

Retard Factor:

Women Drivers

Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world that bans all women — Saudi and foreign — from driving. The prohibition forces families to hire live-in drivers, and women who cannot afford the $300-$400 a month for a driver must rely on male relatives to drive them to work, school, shopping or the doctor. They cannot get an education, mingle with men in public unless family, travel or check into a hotel without a male guardian’s permission.

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Cats and Dogs

Saudi Arabia’s religious police have banned selling pet cats and dogs and walking them in public places in the country’s capital Riyadh to preserve public morals.

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Birthday Parties

Saudi Arabia’s most senior Muslim cleric recently denounced birthday parties as an unwanted foreign influence. The Saudi ban on birthdays is in line with the strict interpretation of Islam followed by the conservative Wahhabi sect adhered to in the kingdom. All Christian and even most Muslim feasts are also prohibited because they are considered alien customs the Saudi clerics don’t sanction.

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Dolls

Saudi Arabia has banned imports of female dolls and teddy bears, and shopkeepers have been given three months to dispose of any stock. The ban also applies to non-Islamic religious symbols, such as crosses and statues of the Buddha.

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Female athletes

Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world that completely bars women from any sports activity. In the eight summer Olympic Games in which the kingdom has participated since 1972, it has sent a total of 166 men, and no women.

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Anything Red / Valentine’s Day

Saudi Arabia has asked florists and gift shops to remove all red items until after Valentine’s Day, calling the celebration of such a holiday a sin, local media reported Monday. Every year, officials with the conservative Muslim kingdom’s Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice clamp down on shops a few days before February 14, instructing them to remove red roses, red wrapping paper, gift boxes and teddy bears. On the eve of the holiday, they raid stores and seize symbols of love.

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Jews

Until March 1, 2004, the official government website stated that Jews were forbidden from entering the country. Saudi officials deny there was ever any such ban in practice however visas from Israeli passport holders are routinely denied. According Saudi policy for tourists, it is not permissible to bring Christian or Jewish religious symbols and books into the kingdom and they are subject to confiscation. (This was removed but here is what appeared on the Supreme Commission for Tourism’s website:
A list of those who are not allowed in the county:

* An Israeli passport holder or a passport that has an Israeli arrival/departure stamp.
* Those who don’t abide by the Saudi traditions concerning appearance and behaviors.
* Those under the influence of alcohol … .
* Jewish People

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Bibles

The Bible in Saudi Arabia may get a person killed, arrested, or deported. In September 1993, Sadeq Mallallah, 23, was beheaded in Qateef on a charge of apostasy for owning a Bible. The State Department’s annual human rights reports detail the arrest and deportation of many Christian worshipers every year. The Saudi Embassy and other Saudi organizations in Washington have distributed hundreds of thousands of Qurans and many more Muslim books, some that have libeled Christians, Jews and others as pigs and monkeys outside of Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia is the only country in the region that still bans the building of churches and all forms of open Christian worship.

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Pokemon

In an effort to; "Protect the Muslims’ ideology as well as their morals and their money" they’re banning Pokemon from the country. You can’t bring any more Poke-stuff in and if you’ve got any Poke-stuff they’re going to seize it. Gambling is illegal in Islam and since Pokemon is all about winning cards from your opponent - which counts as gambling - Pokemon is illegal.

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Books & Movies

Censorship is common practice in the country of Saudi Arabia, where authorities in the conservative kingdom frequently tear out pages from newspapers and magazines before they are allowed to hit the newsstands. The ban extends from popular Hollywood films to Forbes magazines and anything remotely pornographic.

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First One?

The very first minifigure was a police officer, followed by a fireman, a nurse, astronauts, medieval knights, a gas station attendant and a construction worker. Of all of the minifigure’s roles, the police officer is most popular, with 41 different versions appearing in 104 sets over the last 30 years.

Who Made It?

A single employee, Jens Nygaard Knudsen a Lego employee since 1968 came up with the figure after 50 prototypes. The first ones were carved from LEGO bricks, their later cousins were cast in tin. At the time the company was in crisis and his minifigure literally breathed life into the bricks.

Most Expensive One?

10,000 14K Gold Star Wars 30th Anniversary C3P0s were randomly inserted into lego sets in 2007 and each is worth about $200.

Where are the Ladies?

Like the Smurfs, the number of unique male to female minifigs ever designed (where the figure is specifically identifiable) is about 18 to 1.

How Many Types?

There have been nearly 4,000 unique minifigure designs. There are more than 8 quadrillion (8,181,068,395,500,000) possible combinations of minifigures that can be made using all of the unique parts over the last 30 years.

How Many are There?

Minifigures represent the world’s largest population, more than 4 billion people strong, making it 3 times larger than China, 12 times larger than the United States and 120 times larger than Canada. Since the modern minifig’s current form was introduced in the late 1970s, LEGO has produced enough minifigs to circle the Earth at least four times.

Production?

Globally, 3.9 minifigures are sold per second, 365 days per year. That’s an average of over 122 million per year!

Construction?

Minifigures generally feature six parts (widely referred to as tools in the toy industry): head, torso, hips, arms, hands, and legs; these six parts allow seven points of articulation: swivel head, swivel arms, swivel wrists, and swivel legs. Minifigures are usually packaged as four separate parts in Lego sets: head; torso, arms and hands; headgear; hips and legs. Since 1963, Lego pieces have been manufactured from a strong, resilient plastic known as acrylonitrile butadiene styrene, or ABS. In order for pieces to have just the right "clutch power", Lego elements are manufactured within a tolerance of 2 µm.

Racial Breakdown?

In 1997, Native Americans became the first minifigures with recognizable ethnic identities. These were also the first figs with explicitly drawn noses When the minifigure was first introduced 30 years ago, it was given the iconic yellow skin tone to reflect the non-specific and transcendental quality of a child’s imagination.

Real People?

Characters were generic "space" or "town" people but in 1999 the very successful Star Wars line was launched with characters based on specific characters. In 2003 there were NBA legos based on real life basketball players including Kobe Bryant. Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones & Harrison Ford) and Alfred Molina (Satiop & Doc Octopus) the only two actors who have had two distinct characters produced as official LEGO minifigs twice.